He tells you that you are important
that you matter but the fact of
the matter is that if you really
mattered you wouldn’t be sitting
with tears rolling down your face
as he sits inches away wondering what
is the matter, like there’s anything in this
miserable world that actually matters
Behind closed doors he treats you
with compassion holds you close
breathes a sigh of satisfaction but
to the outside world you are a matter
of one faction a mere blip on his screen
of ever-lasting ever-changing ever-
seeking never quite fulfilled attraction
He says he can’t commit that there is
a line in the sand but he won’t admit
that line is there because he drew it
he is the one continuing to put himself
through it thinks his mindset is legit
never mind the glaring evidence of
remiss of things that coulda shoulda
woulda only if he would man up and
deal with his own goddamn shit
Every night you close your eyes hoping
that tomorrow he’ll realize how much
you matter how every day you slave over
every way you could make him feel like
he matters by showing him how much
you love him maybe then you will really
truly matter but none of it ever matters
No you wake up every day and it’s
the same old story only a different
day and he’ll keep looking at you in
the same old way the same you almost
but not quite really matter glance that
you are by now used to after all you are
immune to what he is putting you through used
to pretending that it doesn't really matter
Nothing matters.