grey fog consumes
what little mind
is left
every breath
an undertaking
each muscle takes
minutes to awaken
body moves
through thick mud
at a snail’s pace
empty thoughts
glaze through
the brain,
cool tears
whisper their way
down cheeks –
the only indication
that there is any
emotion left
time ticks by
as I attempt
to muster
strength I
no longer have –
I roll onto my side
a herculean effort –
contemplating the
2 feet between
the bed and the floor
might as well be staring
across a canyon
thinking I could
leap across
then finally.
a foot eases its way
to the hard floor,
each toe gripping
with all its life left
head so heavy
like a boulder
between my shoulders
I force it up anyway –
deep breath,
vision swimming
as vertical positioning
doesn’t happen much
these days
(crying while horizontal
is preferable)
slowly I shuffle
my way to the window
hand curls around
the curtain and
tugs it back –
suddenly the warmth
caresses my cheek,
dusts the cobwebs
off the corners
of my mind –
rays wash fresh
color over a once
grey room
as an unintentional
smile eases
its way across
my lips
I understand now;
how man can worship the sun.